I Miss Him!!!!!

I just wanna sit down and write what I'm thinking. Sometimes there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. Wonder what he is doing, or who he's doing it with. All the special times we shared together. I promised myself that I would not feel like this about him anymore. I would lock these feelings away, never let them back in my heart or mind. It's just that I can't help it when it hits me. It just sits there in the back of my mind, until I can't ignore it anymore. I've tried to cut off all contact with him, much to my dismay. He said it would be better for us.

For the past 3 days I have been fighting the feeling of ( calling him ). I have his number, I look at it everyday in my e-mail. I wanna call him so bad. I just find it so hard to hear his voice and not tell him what I'm feeling. I have lied to myself and him when I said, that I could let these feelings go. I don't care what anyone thinks. I know in my heart, body, and soul. That we were supposed to have a future together. I know we will never have a future together now, but it does not mean that we were not supposed to have one together. We were soul mates " I KNOW IT "

Enough complaining :-( I 'm going through one of those " If I could change things " phases in my life.